electra complex and divorce

electra complex and divorce

+. You don’t accept compliments Modesty, of course, Everything in the world is interconnected, and the, Tears, screams, demands to do as he wants –. I’ve struggled with this for 7 years ever since my step daughter came into my home crying because “I stole her daddy”…, My husband and her ex had an extreamly disfunctional relationship and he would take the daughter out on “dates” and concerts and other things he should be doing with her mother, essentially the mom was a bitch and got replaced by her own daughter…. Looking more closely at this story, let us pay attention to the story of a girl who is acutely worried about the loss of her beloved father. I constantly asked for date nights and pointed out that I am the queen. Please help. You could ask him to read a couple of articles on the subject. As an allusion, the term has come to generally mean a woman whose love for her father is inappropriate, and therefore, unresolved, so she transfers these feelings to other men, thus harming her ability to have healthy relationships with others, often dating older or unavailable men to unconsciously resolve the desire for her father. It becomes a trauma – for both mother and daughter. I too have been affected by this insidious problem that seems to be ubiquitous now. The portrait of Electra from the point of view of Nancy Cater looks like this. If her domineering mother is successful in her career, the daughter may refuse to fulfill herself in the profession in order to avoid comparison with her mother. Separate the real father from the ideal image. Good luck to you and let me know how it all works out. She’s never gonna like those earrings!” Only I know her and what she likes!) Change ). What if the relationship is irrevocably destroyed? This has caused ptsd for me suddenly being kicked to the curb. They blame me saying this is what I wanted and haven’t spoken, texted, or emailed me in two years!! Right . She will dream that one of these heroes, like her father, will come and save her from life with her mother. I am worried about my son who is with him. Carmen Electra is known around the world for her iconic role in the TV series Baywatch. What archetypal situations, recognizable in modern families, does this myth describe? Revelations of the Electra complex and sibling rivalry in the Kinetic Family Drawings of seven-year-old identical twin girls Prog Clin Biol Res. The Electra complex is a term used to describe the female version of the Oedipus complex. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. However, sometimes even women that have been raised in full normal families also encounter with such disorder. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. I’m the child of a Psychoanalist, and I know first hand how dangerous the Oedipus complex is and how much damage it created on my little brother’s life… And I see this tragedy now at my own home, relentlessly deepening, unresolved, but the worse is not tolerating the teen tantrums, the worse is explaining this danger of the Electra Complex to my husband and him refusing to listen!!! , And the Electra drama continues… last week, was her 15th year bday. Electra complex is similar to these topics: Psychosexual development, Phallic stage, Oral stage and more. Now before you get too offended, I know that the fathers who take their daughters to father-daughter dances and on “dates” have the best intentions. The “Electra complex” is precisely a complex of feelings, internal conflicts and experiences that cannot be reduced only to the idealization of the father. And the death of Agamemnon by the hand of Clytemnestra makes Electra forever fix the ideal image of a courageous, loving, protective father – an image that can no longer be corrected in reality. Things that used to be daddy daughter dates like going out for sushi or the movies, or the LA county fair, slowly became a 3-some experience, and I’m very appropriately using that 3-some label because, what would tend to happen will be that they would team up and make fun of me and my accent, or simply ignore me. About the married man aspect: she doesn't just want to date married men, she wants to replace their wife. The essence of the conflict can be represented as follows: first, Clytemnestra, the mother of Electra and Orestes, in alliance with her lover Aegisthus, kills Agamemnon, her husband. Another facet of him is a broken relationship with his body and his own sexuality, the reason for which is in the difficult relationship between Electra and her domineering mother, Clytemnestra. The Electra complex occurs in the third — phallic stage (ages 3–6) — of five psychosexual development stages: (i) the Oral, (ii) the Anal, (iii) the Phallic, (iv) the Latent, and (v) the Genital — in which the source libido pleasure is in a … I tried to get my husband into counseling, but he refused. Freud believed that during the Oedipus complex, boys begin to have a sexual attraction towards their mother and they envy their father. In the future, such a psychologically incestuous relationship with an ideal father can complicate her sexual relations with men. In order to complete the mourning process, the modern Electra must contact her anger at her father for abandoning her. If she thinks she has a chance, this can cause an unhealthy dynamic between all three of you. I was happy they had a good relationship and never thought I’d be thrown under the bus. In the course of her psychosexual development, the complex is the girl’s phallic stage formation of a discrete sexual identity; a boy’s analogous experience is the Oedipus complex. 1.5K likes. ( Log Out /  This disorder occurs at the stage of development i.e. She projects her power on men (primarily on her father and brother, Orestes) and is unable to act: she just waits for her brother to come and save her. Electra women project their animus (the male part of the female psyche) onto men. Authors J E Garai, J A Frohock. Treat your wife like a princess, and your daughter will learn the lessons you want her to without all of the confusion and conflicted emotions. I’ve referenced a study here, but a quick Google search could give you some more material. The Electra complex is a psychosexual theory of girls that was proposed by Carl Jung in his book Theory of Psychoanalysis. it was actually the ex who moved out to explore a FB affair!). OMG! I noticed from the time my daughter was in kindergarten 20 years ago regarding the daddy/daughter dances and didn’t think at the time what the repercussions would be. +. This infatuation leads her to compete with her mother, considering her a rival. 30 October, 2017. They just “hang out” with their sons. When we did go out as a family my husband gave all his attention to my daughter or eldest son, my youngest and I were ignored. It is mental illness in which a girl has sexual desire for her father and a feeling of rivalry with her mother. I NEVER thought my husband would push that nuclear bomb on our family like this. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. They’d been bullying him for quite some time. So she tries to get them to divorce, even establishes … Biography He denied it and literally ran away.). To be in direct competition with her mother for her father’s attention? I’ve heard the explanation that these dates teach your daughter what to expect from the men in her future—that she should be treated gently and with respect. Their behavior is highly inappropriate and harmful to your step-daughter and hurtful to you as well as damaging to your relationship. I thought being patient would pay off… I naively stood silent when they went on those “daddy-daughter dances”. +. It is said to be the female counterpart to the Oedipus complex in males. I’m having a hard time with this and moving forward reinventing myself at 54 while dealing with my elderly parents I’ve moved into assisted living without the support of my family and husband. It could get better as she gets older and gets more of a life of her own, including a partner, but I suspect she’s going to have problems in the romance department due to her daddy issues. The term “Electra complex” was coined by Carl Gustav Jung. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. It didn’t matter. He appeared to be back into the marriage the next day. Therefore, modern Electra can work out this issue indirectly through its subsequent relationships with men. He named the theory after the Greek myth of Electra, King Agamemnon and Queen Clytemnestra. “That’s our daughter you’re talking about!” was his response. Face it; it’s creepy. The Electra complex is also the counterpart to the Oedipus complex, developed by Sigmund Freud. As soon as these projections are returned, psychic energy will be released, and the woman can become stronger, more responsible, ready to look for her own path in life. Just think about it for a minute. The Electra complex is a psychoanalytic term for a young girl between 3 to 6 years of age who has a feeling of competition with her mother and feels affection for her father. You don’t have to agree with Jung or Freud on everything to realize that this is not only unhealthy, it’s actually kind of gross. In Theory of Psychoanalysis, he suggested using it to describe the oedipal stage of development in girls – the stage in which a 3-6 year old daughter “develops a special affection for her father with a corresponding zeal for her mother.”. We are the married couple and she will have that when she is married. Only you know if you’re at that point. This phenomenon is solved when the girl begins to be afraid to lose the love of its mother, and begins to identify with her. The man had fear in his eyes and to this day acts like I’m the one who betrayed him. The benefits of anger: how to get angry right, Money, “a wonderful invention of mankind”, “I met love when I was going to buy a mop”: 14 love stories, Thunderstorm school: what to do if your child mocks other children. Thank you Christina for writing this article and responding to Nina’s comments. at a nearby gym. However, there is a possibility that she will still be attached to the idealized image of her father. This whole thing has been traumatic and given me ptsd. A woman who cannot realize herself in the profession in any way …, Many of those girls and women who are close to these styles of behavior live in their lives the myth of Electra – says the Jungian psychologist Nancy Cater, author of the book “The Electra Complex in the Psychology of Women.”. They called me crazy. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. It is comparable to the Oedipus Complex” (Cherry). Topic. I’ve read countless articles to help get through these tough times. 15 Jan. 2016. Later, during the ten-year absence of her father, who went to the Trojan War, her desire for idealization intensifies. The Oedipus complex comes from the Oedipus myth of Sophocles, from classical Greek mythology. Nina, I’m so sorry you are going through this. Father-daughter photo. Share resources, articles, support groups, prayers, anything! Little girls in our culture are predisposed to think they have to compete for male attention. Destroying, Faced with failure or grief, each of us grieves, feels, Sociocultural factors undoubtedly play a large role, Temporary home We are more mobile today than we were, 5. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! I hope you know that you are not the problem in any way. If you don’t see how this practice is romanticizing the father-daughter relationship, think about the connotations of the terms we use. (I feel my husband was also having some existential crisis at the same time, turning 60 and coping with his mother’s death months earlier. “Electra Complex.” Wikipedia.org Updated 15 Jan. 2016. This is the opposite of the message you are trying to send to her. Wikipedia defines it this way, “In Neo-Freudian psychology, the Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, is a girl’s psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father” (Wikipedia). Discover your femininity. I kept quiet for too long… and now it’s too dam late! Nancy Cater is convinced that recognizing the myth allows us not only to gain a deeper understanding of our own experiences, but also to take the first steps towards liberation from its unconscious power. I’m at the end of my rope and entertaining the idea of divorce so that daddy and daughter can finally be alone and happy together forever! The Electra complex occurs in the third—phallic stage —of five … This woman is psychologically stuck in adolescence due to her unresolved relationship with her father. Wikipedia defines it this way, “In Neo-Freudian psychology, the Electra complex, as proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, is a girl’s psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father” (Wikipedia). It is not confusing for her to see you treat her mother romantically. She may want to win you from her mother. Thank God he said no! Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account.

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